Holy crap. That is all I had to say after watching last night’s hour experience of Lost. Holy crap. “The Substitute” was more mind-blowing, more mythologically compelling than “The Man Behind the Curtain,” “Dead is Dead” and “The Incident” put together. I wouldn’t say it was the best hour of Lost ever, but holy crap, it’s definitely in the top ten. The writing, the acting, the directing, the score! Simply AMAZING.
In fact, “The Substitute” was so amazing, I’m forcing myself to break the review into AT LEAST two parts – one concerning the flashsideways and the statue crew, what I’ll be going over today. And the other involving the countless theories and constant WTF of Not-Locke and his recruiting phase. Just one of those theories, one of those connections is an entire blog in and of itself. Imagine if they were all packed into one! And on top of that, there was another half to the episode packed in as well! It’s for your own good, kids. So let’s get started…
THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 6×04 THE SUBSTITUTE. PROCEED WITH CAUTION, AND BEWARE OF HUGE DOUCHES.
What this episode did that last week’s did not was make the flashsideways interesting, exciting. And it seemed relevant! Connections were popping up everywhere, and it seemed that, even though the plane didn’t crash, even though Hurley had no terrible luck, these people were destined to connect, that their paths were destined to intertwine. They say don’t mistake for coincidence for fate, but that’s a bit of a big coincidence if you ask me.
In the flashsideways, we see Locke driving a van to his driveway. To which I ask, HOW? Aren’t legs required to drive a car, to accelerate and to brake? Maybe some people with leg paralysis know how such an act is possible, and if so, please inform me so one of the greatest episodes of the series doesn’t have such a gaping hole in reality. Locke’s life is still sad – the ramp on the van breaks before it can bring Locke to the ground, thus he is required to take a leap of faith and hop his wheelchair off the ramp to the ground. Sadly, this leap results in Locke lying helpless on his lawn, falling out of his wheelchair. And hey!, the sprinklers are on! However, the water quits blowing in his face when a woman comes out of the house and turns them off, a woman none other than…
LEELA! Or Helen Norwood, I should say. Though now having seen every episode of Futurama, I could only see Helen with one eye.
Cut to naked bath Locke, listening to Helen talking over the phone about the wedding the two will have next month in October. Helen complains about the caterers, the bands, the fabric backs for the chairs. She proposes that they should just do it “shotgun style” and get wed in Vegas with her parents and LOCKE’S FATHER.
Wait, wait, wait. I’m just going to presume that Locke’s dad is still, in fact, Anthony Cooper. Now, not only is he on speaking terms with Locke, he has been invited to Locke’s wedding? Cooper being a cool guy explains Sawyer’s odd behavior in “LA X.” Maybe Sawyer never became a con-man because his father was never conned, and therefore he never lost his parents. But then how did Sawyer end up in Australia to fly back to L.A. on Oceanic 815? And if Cooper is a cool guy, then how did Locke become paralyzed? Because I highly doubt Locke would be on buddies with the man who stole his kidney and pushed him out a stories-high window. Did he even steal Locke’s kidney? If so, how did Locke meet him? And if Locke’s kidney was never stolen, how could he have ever met Helen?
Perhaps it was purely destiny that has guided our off-Island characters to the points they are now. Hurley was destined to win the lotto, regardless of the circumstances leading up to it. Locke was meant to be with Helen (as discussed later in the episode), he was meant to be paralyzed. Sawyer, Locke, Kate, Sayid – they were all meant to be on that plane leaving September 22nd, 2004 from Sydney to L.A..
But my biggest question remains – what does the island being at the bottom of the ocean have ANYTHING to do with Anthony Cooper being a nice guy? The branching point of the two universes was the incident. In one universe, the Islandverse, the island just flashed. But in the other, the island is at the bottom of the ocean. Oceanic 815 never crashed, all those main characters never died, Jacob never brought the candidates to the Island. But how would any of that affect the fact that Locke is on good terms with his father? How would any of that affect Shannon staying in Australia? Bernard not swelling when up in the air? I find it hard to believe that the submersion of the island would have any impact on Cooper’s choice of careers.
Back to the story, Locke wants to make the wedding special for Helen, for everything to be just right. He’s looking at color swatches, deciding between the backing fabrics for the chairs – a grayish, earthy shade of green and a shade of blue. Which is where I break off into another over-analytical observation.
Green, blue. Nature, civilization? Islandverse, LAverse? Again, I may be analyzing a bit too far, but just bear with me.
For one, it could be symbolic of the story of Not-Locke, of Smokey, how he came to the island (green) a man, but now, all he wants to do is to return home, presumably to the civilized world, the mainland (blue). Another interpretation is that of the show itself. We’ve been treating the Island-verse as the main timeline for six years now. But Josh from Lost Flashbacks brought this up yesterday during the JoshMeister’s live show — is it possible that the island is like the city of Atlantis, and that the LAverse is the true main universe, and that the Islandverse is the alternate? I certainly hope this will not be the case, but it’s very much a possibility, especially with the writers making it especially clear that the LAverse is NOT an alternate universe. The Islandverse and the LAverse are rather two possibilities, two parallel universes of themselves, with deviations in either universe, some more major than others.
So Helen finds John’s card in his pocket and urges him to contact Jack, that maybe he could fix Locke’s spine and restore his ability to walk. Maybe Locke meeting Jack in the lost luggage office was his destiny.
Next, we see Locke at the box company, who is confronted by an even tanner, douchier Randy, who questions Locke about a Sydney business conference which Locke lies about attending. Randy then reveals to Locke that he is fully aware he did not attend the conference – he didn’t even bother to pick up his credentials. Locke says that he was doing his own private business (presumably the walkabout), but Randy tells him that it was on the company’s dime he flew to Sydney, and Locke is deservedly fired. Yes, it’s sad that Locke is fired, and he didn’t even get to go on the walkabout. But if so, Locke, what were you doing for the rest of the time? Searching for your brother? Could you not have at least signed in and attended the conference for an hour, Locke? He was flown internationally on the company, and he absolutely deserved to be fired. Boohoo.
In the parking lot, Locke is in denial, having parked in a regular spot versus a handicapped spot. A yellow Hummer is what is preventing him from getting into his van, it being parked extremely close to Locke’s car, apparently outside the lines. Locke tries to lower his ramp and scratch the Hummer out of spite, but, the Hummer belonging to Hurley and Hurley being the luckiest man alive, it stops right before hitting the car. John unleashes his Locke-rage and bashes the car with his bare fists, setting off the car’s alarm. Hurley then steps out of the building, telling John that he’s the owner of the company and the car. Locke informs Hugo of his ill fate of being fired by his boss, Randy, to which Hugo replies, “That guy is a huge douche.” You couldn’t be more right, Hugo. He offers John a job at a temp agency (which he also owns), telling him to “chin up. Things are gonna work out.”
At the temp agency, John is being interviewed by the psychic from “Tricia Tanaka is Dead.” What kind of animal is John? Maybe a polar bear? A boar? And is John a people person? That gets answered later. John has had enough with the bs questions, and requests to speak to interviewer / former “psychic’s” supervisor, who is none other than ROSE NADLER.
Now the conversation is VERY interesting. Incredibly so. These two, John and Rose, had a connection on the Island, a spiritual connection to the Island. So again, perhaps these two were destined to meet, to connect. Perhaps it was destiny that Rose would lecture Locke, mentor him in a way. I’m still having difficulty seeing how there being no island influences Rose’s career choice. Unless…
Bernard took Rose to Australia to get her healed by Isaac of Uluru. He said that there were various hotspots around the world, incredible sources of energy. That spot in Australia was one of them, the Island was another. In my opinion, I believe the teleportation landing ground in the Tunisian desert could be another. 
But maybe the Island being at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean affected these energies, weakened them, effectively eliminated them? Then there would be no Isaac of Uluru, Bernard would have accepted Rose’s ultimate fate, Rose could finally move on with her life and get a position working at the temp agency. But then why would Rose & Bernard be in Australia to begin with? So basically, I came up with nothing.
John stubbornly requests a job as a construction supervisor, a job Locke cannot realistically keep and do efficiently. Rose asks Locke to be realistic, to get past the denial and move to acceptance. Locke has to face the fact that there are things that he can’t do, regardless of his physical state, his obstacles. Rose brings up the fact that she herself has terminal cancer, and she had to get past her denial and continue living the life she could live.
And this brings about an incredibly important change in Locke. No longer is he bound by the words “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.” Locke is now a man who accepts the facts, parks in the handicapped spot, understands what he can and can’t do. And I’m not sure I like this. Locke has always been that man of faith, the one who will do anything to achieve a goal. On the island, he tried to break open that hatch every way possible, failing again and again. In his flashbacks, he tried to make amends with his father, again failing. He was stubborn and ignorant. But he believed that anything was possible. On the island, this view got broken down, his faith in the island and himself collapsing with the death of Boone, the discovery of the Pearl, his inability to bring anyone back. He lost that “Don’t tell me what I can’t do” attitude, and just became a sadder man.
Later, we see John calling Dr. Shephard’s office. A receptionist answers, but John hangs up. He tells Helen that he hung up on the office, as well as that he got fired. A courier drops off the lost luggage from the Oceanic flight (What does this mean for Christian Shephard and his coffin?). He tells Helen that he didn’t go to the conference, but instead tried to go on a walkabout with the knives in the case, however, the organizers of the walkabout wouldn’t let him go. We all know how that played out. He was angry then, screaming that they shouldn’t tell him what he can’t do. He’s accepted that he won’t walk down the aisle at their wedding, that he won’t get out of the chair. There is no such thing as a miracle. But there are miracles, Helen says. It’s a miracle the two are with each other. And it absolutely is.
Luckily, John is now a much happier man, having accepted his condition, and living his life still as a hopeful man. He is working as a titular substitute teacher, leading a P.E. class and a bio class, discussing the “human reproductive system.” (Funny, Lost, with all your crazy Island pregnancy, Tawaret crap.) And it absolutely is the perfect job for Locke. He has always been his happiest as a teacher, informing others of what he has learned, trying to make a difference in their lives with his knowledge. We saw this with Walt, with Boone, with Jack, hell, everyone on the Island learned something from crazy bald guy Locke. He definitely has a way with kids, as evidenced by his interactions with Walt. And c’mon, how can you not love a man like Terry O’Quinn?
Locke finds his way to the teachers’ lounge courtesy of a student very reminiscent of Walt (and yes, I’ll admit I made such a connection because the two are black). Within, a teacher has gone on a tirade over the coffeemaker. If you have the last cup of coffee, you trash the filter! Locke just wanted some Earl Grey tea, a gentleman’s drink. Aforementioned teacher turns around and reveals himself to be none other than Benjamin Linus, European history. “John Locke, substitute.” In so many more ways than one, John. In so many more ways than one. #BRILLIANCE
Now the statue crew of Ilana, Ben, Sun, and Frank. Ilana is crying, over the nobodies that belonged to her team of bodyguards who failed at protecting Jacob. Ben tells her that John Locke killed them after turning into that Smokey SOB, also lying about Locke killing Jacob as well. Which brings up the question: Does Ilana have a clue? This season, we’ve come to the realization that Ben knew nothing. In this episode, we see that Richard knows almost nothing. Does Ilana? Clearly if she knew anything about the man she was assigned to protect, the circumstances under which he was to be protected, he wouldn’t believe Ben for a second – she would be well aware that Not-Locke, that Smokey cannot directly kill Jacob.
Ilana asks Ben where Jacob’s body is; Ben tells her Locke kicked Jacob into the fire where he burned away. Ilana goes toward the extinguished fire and fills a bag with Jacob’s white ash. Ben asks why Not-Locke took Richard. He is recruiting.
Ilana and Ben return to the beach, where Sun informs them that the others (or the Others) have gone to the Temple, and Ilana urges them to follow suit. If Jin is alive and on the island, he must be at the Temple. But why is Ilana sure of this? Why does Sun believe her? They’ve been on the Island for five seasons, and the majority of them haven’t ventured near the Temple. Why MUST it be where they all are now? Obviously Ilana is right, but it still raises the eyebrow. Before they leave for the Temple however, they need to bury John.
As the statue crew brings Locke’s dead body to be buried at the grave site of seasons past, Ben asks Ilana why she brought Locke’s body to the statue – she needed to show the others the face of what they’re up against. He then ask why Not-Locke couldn’t just change forms again, to which she replies that the Man in Black is now stuck in that body.
Now Not-Locke can obviously shift into Smokey form. That was displayed in this episode, let alone the season premiere. But I suppose the first question is this:
What is Not-Locke? Is the Smoke Monster his true form, which can shift shape into whatever it wants, but now he can only alternate between Smokey and his Locke shape? Or is Smoke Monster just a bonus? I’m very much leaning toward the latter, and this is evidenced by the other half of the episode, when Locke details how he was once a man (more on that tomorrow). This man shape is his true shape. Yes, as the Smoke Monster, he could become Alex or Yemi. But when he wasn’t the Smoke Monster, when he was just lounging around beneath the Temple or wherever he hangs, he has a true, human form, one that, despite impenetrable skin and an aura of badass, was still human. Not-Locke rarely manifests as Smokey. He does so only when beckoned, or when he senses the Island has been breached, and this could be because he can’t maintain the form for long. It’s a secondary form. His human form requires much more work to attain versus his Smoke Monster manifestations, he almost becomes that person and has a certain degree of humanity not evident in the manifestations. Before the death of Jacob, he could change his human form. Perhaps he was the Christian Shephard we saw in the cabin, with Claire, leading Locke off the island. But now, with the Island in a state of imbalance, with the scale being tipped in favor of the dark, Not-Locke can no longer change his human form – he is stuck in the form of John Locke.
The statue crew is now at the burial ground, where makeshift crosses mark the graves of all those past deaths. Of Steve (or was it Scott?), of Boone, of Shannon, of Ana Lucia, of Libby, of Eko, of Nikki, of Paulo. And now, after two and a half seasons, it’s Locke’s turn to finally get the burial he deserves. Ilana asks if anything wants to say anything about John. Ben reluctantly steps forward and eulogizes John. “Locke was a believer, a man faith, and he was a much better man than I will ever be. And I’m very sorry I murdered him.” You better be sorry, Ben, because you are the instigator of all this madness. You are Mohinder. Just smarter.
“Weirdest damn funeral I’ve ever been to.”
And that’s not even the half of it.
Tomorrow will be part two of a series of blog posts concerning “The Substitute.” Hopefully, I’ll be discussing every mind-blowing scene following Richard, Sawyer, and Not-Locke, every theory, every freaking name on Jacob’s freaking list.
With all my huge theories, my huge encapsulating ideas derived from last night’s display of epic television, the final show on my seven shows countdown will likely be announced on Sunday, though it shouldn’t come as a surprise to any of you.
So yes, “The Substitute.”
“We’re gonna need to watch that again.”
I haz revisions to Smokey theory. They will be corrected in a future post.
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